Tina you fat lard, come get some food

I’m watching Napoleon Dynamite for the 2nd time in a 12 hour span. Not because I like it so much, but because I was too lazy to put a different DVD in. It was either this or stare at the cat’s ass for a few hours.

I tried venturing outside for some food. There is a Quizno’s close by and that french dip type sub sounded really delicious. Went at like 6PM, they close at 8 or 9PM. They were closed. No explanation why. I really wanted that damn sub.

Life is boring. I don’t want to go to a store to buy the new Madden game… so I’m playing last years again. I think I am on like my 9th season with the Packers. The mighty interception king, Favre, is long gone. The numbskull Mike McCarthy was never hired as coach. Shermanator was let go immediately. Life is so much better when choices are made using common sense. Oh well.

I should make a new post location… “From the sick bay”. I feel alright, but lacking energy and still congested (with blood/snot/etc) beyond belief.


I had surgery this morning.  Septoplasty and corbolation (spelling?) of turbinates.  What it means is they chopped up and straightened out my septum and cut down the size of the turbinates on either size.  Vicodin is kicking in, but I think I’ll take the full dose next time.  Still feeling some of the pain.  Was really miserable earlier.  I was at the surgery center for about 4 hours, but was only knocked out for about 1 hour or so and the surgery took just over 30 minutes.  There’s a good amount of bleeding still, but not gushing.  Just steady that clots and goes away for a bit but comes back whenever I swallow too hard or move too much.  Got a nice chunk of gause taped on the underside of my nose that I’ve had to change about every 30 minutes so far.

Bleeding should stop almost completely by tomorrow and definitely by Sunday.  Planning on going back to work Tuesday or Wednesday.  Will probably just make a brief appearance to school Monday/Tuesday to get assignments, maybe just Tuesday and not at all Monday though.  We’ll see.

Anyway, my throat is killing me from the tube that was stuffed down it (for oxygen).  Been downing a ton of water and cranberry juice.  Peeing by the gallon.

I’ve got some splints inside my nose to help the septum heal properly.  Can’t really feel them, but my nose is a stuffy/bloody mess, so who knows.  Those come out in a week.  After that, I should start breathing a lot better fairly quickly.

Good thing is, no bruising and my nose only looks *slightly* swollen on the outside.  So once I can ditch the bandages, I won’t have to worry about looking like I just got beat up.  Which by the way, right after I woke up from surgery, it felt like I was punched in the face.  By the time I got home it felt more like I was punched in the face by Mike Tyson, my whole face was pretty sore.  I think the dry mouth/throat is the worst part of it all.  That and the fact that my nose feels like I have the worst cold you could ever imagine (super stuffy).

That’s all for now.

Nothing to say

Time to go to sleep.  Can’t stay awake much longer.  Pumped about waking up at 5:30AM to go get my nose chopped and broken and have a tube stuffed down my throat and whatever else is in store for me.  I wish the doctor gave me some Valium or something.  I’m excited and nervous.
My iPod froze up on me for the first time on the way home from class tonight.  I forgot how to reset it and almost killed many other drivers as I mashed buttons trying to make it stop.  Well, not really… but I had to come up with something dramatic to say.

So the other night I was outside late and some guy came running up behind me.  He yelled repeatedly for me to stop.  I finally did.  He shouted about wanting to ask me a question.  I indulged.  He asked me if I had ever used oven cleaner in my apartment.  Yep, that’s right.  He said he used some and it resulted in his place smelling like burning.  It’s not the strangest random conversation I’ve had with a stranger, but it’s up there.

Pitchers Beware

I recently had another pitcher on my Fantasy team bite the dust. This one for a second time. I really do feel bad for any of the pitching staff on my fantasy baseball team. They seem to be cursed. In the last month alone I’ve lose Scott Kazmir, Carlos Zambrano, Jonathan Papelblon, Francisco Liriano and Mike Mussina. That’s a pretty top notch list of casualties. I should have tried to draft more Cardinals or Reds and the Brewers might have locked up the central with the other teams losing their entire rotation because they are on my fantasy team.

Speaking of the Brewers… I’m going to come out and say right now, that if Geoff Jenkins and Brady Clark are in our starting lineup next season, I will become a Mets fan. There’s no two ways about it. Kevin Mench needs to never play defense again, but those first two guys are the big problems right now. They need to go.

Fantasy Foosball – Week 1

Okay, so week 1 is a bust… minor setback I hope. Had a run of bad luck. Who would’ve thought that Larry Johnson would do nothing and Carson Palmer would do even less? Beyond that, I ditched the Cinci defense and picked up Vernon Davis (not in time for this week, but he should be huge). I also dropped a backup wideout in exchange for the Indy defense. Of course, Indy’s D is playing like garbage tonight. Plus I think I have to alter the scoring in my league as none of the defenses are making an impact.

Hopefully next week will be better…

click the thumbnail to view a larger image…


Stupid Printers Taking My Money

<p>So I wanted to print something out to post on the bulliten board in my apartment building… but I am out of yellow ink. I have no yellow, so I can’t print in black and white. That’s harsh. So now I have to go to Best Buy on a weekend… I’m certain this will be hell on earth.</p>
<p>I wanted to print a flyer for a little side business I’ve been kicking around for ages. I’m thinking about doing some guitar repair again. I’m always weary of it, because when you’re some unknown doing work in the neighborhood, the majority of the customers you get are people who have had a guitar for years and never played them. The strings are usually tetanus shots waiting to happen, with a nice layer of rust on them. Many of them have necks that are twisted like pretzels. Putting a new set of strings on them and tuning to proper tension is likely to snap the neck, or rip the bridge out of the body. All this so they can put the thing back in the closet and never look at it again, until the next guy posts a similar flyer in the lobby.</p>
<p>Oh well, I’ll probably give it a try anyway… maybe now that I’m in a more artsy community, I will have more customers who have a genuine interest in taking care of their instruments.</p>

Fantasy Foosball

It’s the best time of year… Fantasy baseball is coming to a close as teams make their stretch runs and young players on failing teams get a lot of playing time. At the same time, fantasy football is just beginning. It couldn’t have happened at a better time. I’m leading my fantasy baseball league by some 500 points (it’s like being 6 laps ahead in a race); so there isn’t a lot of concern there. Right as it’s starting to get boring, the NFL comes to the rescue. I’m running my own league for the 3rd straight year. Have 10 teams, most of them have played the past 2 seasons. I made a lot of format/rule changes this year and it looks like competition should be more fierce. I’m hoping to run away with it… I managed the #1 draft pick (with no cheating!) and took Larry Johnson. Can’t fail right? So many people would say Shaun Alexander is the way to go, but he’s getting old, has always avoided hits (can’t dodge traffic forever) and is on the cover of the new Madden game. I’m guessing he’ll have a season-ending injury by week 6. Don’t deny the power of the Madden curse. Michael Vick was on the cover in ‘03, the year he broke his leg in the preseason. Donnavan McNabb was on 2 years later, when he missed a lot of time to a groin injury. Alexander is next!

Anyway, I also picked up Carson Palmer, Larry Fitzgerald, Reggie Wayne, Mike Bell, Javon Walker, Thomas Jones, Nate Burleson, Jake Plummer, Keenan McCardell, Some worthless kicker, Reggie Bush, Chris Cooley and the Cincinatti Defense (tons of turnovers = mega fantasy points). I think I’ll go undefeated… but maybe I’ll start all tight ends one week to make it fair.

8 Legged Freaks

So I live in downtown Waukesha. Right outside my window is the Fox River. The little riverwalk is there and all that. It would be really enjoyable, if it weren’t horribly overrun with spiders. If you go out for a walk at night along the river, it would be impossible to count all of them. There are easily tens of thousands. In my window (on the outside) there are a good 10-20 of them. They range from the size of a pinhead to the size of a quarter. My girlfriend is terrified of them. If we leave the blinds open they make some rather menacing shadows on the wall/ceiling. Thankfully, there have not been any inside out place. I emailed the city of Waukesha about the infestation, as a block away the river is virtually bug free. I received a reply saying they have tried, but the pollution issue is obviously a concern. They randomly sweep the guardrails and walkways to clear the webs, but they return within a day. I’ve never had too much of a problem with spiders, but it is getting fairly disgusting. There’s one good thing about winter, they all die.


So I believe I mentioned trying to get a better deal on Time Warner cable television. I went to their retail store in Mayfair Mall to see if I could sweet talk a salesperson. There were no salespeople there that day, of course. So I emailed them. The response I got was this:

Dear Mr. Ratkowski:

Thanks for writing.

The Digipic 1000 package, at $51.99 plus equipment ($7.95 per TV) is not the minimal digital package. We offer the Digital Access package, with 150 of the most popular cable channels, the digital interactive cable guide, 46 digital music channels, and access to Movies on Demand and Free on Demand, for only $46.99 plus equipment.

Of course, we still offer the analog standard service of 75 channels, which doesn’t require a cable box, for only $46.10 per month.

If you have any other questions or concerns, please contact us.

Time Warner Cable SE WI
Consumer Contact

$46.10 for analog cable… yeesh. I don’t understand the difference between the Digital Access Package and the DigiPic1000 package (the Digital Access is not advertised on their site… so I can’t really tell). I looked at San Antonio, where I plan to move, and what seems to be the same as the $46.99 package costs $34.95. I guess that is part of the price you pay for living in a swanky high class city like Milwaukee. Oh wait, back in Chicago Comcast offers basic cable for a hair over $25. Hmmph.

I guess I’ll have to call up and try to sucker them down like $10 on the basic package. I don’t think I can go another football season without cable.

Monday off work = Bad TV time!

<p>Well, the woman and I went out for breakfast. I’m still full… way too much food. We went shopping for as long as we could stand. Now it’s barely into the afternoon and there’s nothing to do but watch Maury. I tried to stop in the Time Warner store and beg them for cheaper cable, but no sales people were there. Alas, there’s no choice but to watch the over the air junk. Nothing like a full hour of paternity tests. I guess it’s good to know that if I get a bunch of bad tattoos and start drinking malt liquor for breakfast I will have a place to go when some skanky girl I’ve never met comes after me for child support.</p>
<p><img align=”middle” src=”http://users.rcn.com/rayzrealm/doclib/notvcr.jpg” /></p>